Affiliated Press -- Dec. 2, 2010 Ann Arbor, MI
Crisis in Ann Arbor Continues
Continuing on the situation first made public on Oct. 9, 2010, the Crisis in Ann Arbor worsens.
As reported in October, there critical shortages included paper bags, mortuary makeup and resorative wax. Obviously connected in some way to the State of Michigan's economic woes, the list of shortages is growing longer.
Mayor John Hieftje has confirmed reports of a total absence of facial tissue in the city and surrounding areas.
"These are serious shortages. We are considering a declaration of a state of emergency."
As if to confirm the reported shortage, The Department of Sanitation reports a significant increase in the number of empty Kleenex boxes being recycled.
Michigan Head Coach Rich Rodriguez allegedly has a cache of tissues, at least 20 cartons, stashed away, according to an anonymous graduate assistant.
Off the record, Mayor Hieftje was heard to say that there are a lot of snotty noses in Ann Arbor right now.
Byline -- Jack Piooma